Why should I have a bris for my son?
That’s a very personal
question that only you can answer. But here are a few things to consider.
- Brit Milah, or
the Jewish ritual of circumcision, dates back almost 4000 years. Abraham was
the first father to be commanded by G-d to circumcise his son and Jews have
continued this ritual despite every challenge through the generations. A bris
makes your son a link in the chain of the Jewish people and establishes a
spiritual connection to a family even larger than your own. If you’d like to delve deeper into this,
we should chat by phone or over a cup of coffee.
- While there are
some medical studies that point to benefits of circumcision overall, alone they
are unlikely to be a persuasive reason to have a bris.
- A bris, when
done properly, is a spiritual, holy and truly joyful event.
I’m conflicted. The thought of hurting
my child at all goes against all my instincts. Does this mean I shouldn’t have
a bris?
No parent wants to inflict
any amount of pain on their child. But, parenting often involves making tough
decisions that benefit your kids. This starts from the moment they are born.
And as the father of four boys, I can tell you it’s just the beginning. A bris
is a covenant or commitment and as such should not be taken lightly. Your struggle
and questioning is part of the process. G-d commands us to do many things that
are not always easy. If you are a circumcised father, it is also your way of
confirming the choice your parents made for you, when you were an infant.
Choosing a bris begins a spiritual journey for your son and is your way of
connecting him to the Jewish people.
Is a circumcision done in the hospital
better or safer than a bris done at home?
Absolutely not, for many
reasons:
- A hospital circ
does not meet the requirements of Jewish law. To be kosher, a bris must be done
on at least the 8th day of life. Hospital circumcisions are done on
the first or second day of life --not kosher.
- If you are
thinking the procedure itself will be safer done in the hospital, you are also
mistaken. As a mohel, I am specially trained to do the procedure as quickly and
painlessly as I possibly can. I have done the procedure literally thousands of
times without any complications. In a hospital very often the procedure is done
by an intern or resident. Many of my clients are pediatricians, obstetricians
and urologists, who know that a mohel is better trained when it comes to
routine infant circumcision.
- Why take a
perfectly healthy baby to the hospital? A bris is done in the comfort of your
own home as opposed to in a cold, hospital. Your baby will be back in your arms
nursing in a matter of moments –no need to load him into a car seat or drive
anywhere.
- Choosing a bris
begins a spiritual journey for your son and is your way of connecting him to
the Jewish people.
- There is no
lengthy behind closed doors prep when I do a bris. Your son will be held in the arms of a
loved one, not tied down and immobilized. If this is important to you, be sure that it is the case with any mohel or doctor you are considering using.
Is there a difference between the
hospital procedure and how a mohel
does a bris?
Trained mohels are able to
complete the procedure very quickly. This is in large part because they use a
Mogen shield or clamp. The Mogen allows a trained mohel to complete the
procedure very safely and very quickly. Doctors in a hospital often use a Gomco
clamp. The Gomco takes much longer to use, up to 10 minutes. Remember, the
quicker the procedure, the less pain your son will experience. Ask your
provider which technique they use.
How long does the procedure take?
Speed is of the essence. In
this case, it is the best pain control. The actual procedure, including the
placement of the shield and the cutting of the foreskin, takes a matter of
seconds. Add in the diaper change and you might be up to a minute.
What do you use for pain control?
Pediatric urologists tell me
that the best pain control comes from the sucking motion and the ingestion of
sugar water. So, we dip gauze in sweet kosher wine and allow the baby to suck
this. A prescription for a topical anesthetic called Emla cream can also be
used. A dose of infant Tylenol before the procedure can also help.
Do I have to have a ceremony and invite
people?
This is totally up to you. A
bris is a cause for celebration and many people enjoy sharing this joyous event
with close family and friends. The ceremony allows for several honors that you
can bestow upon the people closest to you. That said, you can certainly keep
your bris to immediate family or make it a completely private event.
When should I do the bris?
According to Jewish law, the
bris should be done on at least the 8th day of life. Studies have
shown this is an ideal time based on clotting factors as well. Of course, if the baby is premature or not completely well, the baby's health comes first and the bris will be postponed until the pediatrician says the baby is ready.
When should I call Rabbi Trager?
If you have questions, you
can call Rabbi Trager any time. To schedule a bris, call him as soon as you’ve
given birth. 415.366.6757.